When I received full custody of my son, I really had no idea what it would entail. His first year of middle school was a challenge because I had to break a lot of old habits that he developed growing up. I remember that he would write on his hands, write on walls, attitude was horrible and disliked being told what to do. All In all, I was going to put my best foot forward and get the job done.
The process was a rough one because I had to be hard on him and not show mercy for a point of time. I’m his father! I did not enjoy yelling or fussing at him. At times , I would go in my room and cry because I didn’t want to see my son struggle like this. I care for him deeply but he needed the discipline in his life to be a better person. This period was almost like a boot camp. I had him on a strict regimen. I had him up early in the mornings working out, reading books, washing dishes, raking leaves, cutting grass, learning how to pray, learning study time, and correcting his language to a more appropriate one. I applied pressure on him like it was a ceiling caving in on him. For several weeks, I kept this pressure up without showing love to him to let him know I meant business. As soon as I seen him starting to break, I begin to do a series of “encouraging talks” in a different environment. He began to open up to me about things he was dealing with. I was shocked to hear some of the things that he was telling me. Parents please listen to your children about their issues. The older generation would always say , “you too young to have any problems”. Trust me, they have problems that we would never think of!!
I continued on to give talks and encouragement by praising him with things that he wanted. Just so you know, he came to Alabama with D’s and F’s on his report card and in danger of getting left back. His first semester, he had C’s and D’s. I thought that wasn’t good enough , he needed more. I had to realize that he was adjusting to a new way of life, a new state, a new environment, just everything new. In the mornings, I would have him to pray with me before he would walk out the door. I was intentional about this because of my faith and the direction I wanted him to go. I remember hugging him and kissing him on his head. He hated it but I wanted him to feel the love from his father. After a while , his grades began to move towards A’s, B’s, and C’s. I was so happy the day that he brought his report card home and saw the grades. He began to cry as well as myself. I never felt like this in my life; this was a awesome feeling.
When he got to high school, he got distracted, in which, it was expected. I began to get him focused because his grades were dropping. One day I was yelling at him, and he got upset. He yelled out ,” I just get everything wrong”! I looked at him and begin to hug him. I began to pray because that type of talking is not aloud in my house. I began to tell him it’s a process. I told him, you can get it right ! My son thought I was going to get louder than him but he didn’t expect the hug.
Why the hug? I remembered how many times I did wrong in my Father (God) eyesight and He didn’t give me what I deserved. The scripture tells us in Romans 6:23 , the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life. God has the legal right to kill us every time we sin but he doesn’t. I truly thank God that he died on the cross for our sins. We have to remember every time we just can’t get it right, God already graced us with his mercy. This does not mean we can do whatever we want, it just mean that the work is already finished! Stop trying to focus on the law and works and focus on his undying love for you. Once you build a relationship with Him, you wouldn’t want to break His heart.
I love you all!!